Family Resources
Addiction does not just affect the addict; it is also damaging to family members,
people who care about you and people you work with. The following resources will
help you and them as you pursue freedom.
Addiction and Life-controlling Issues
What is addiction? Addiction is a progressive loss of control due to the use of a substance or behavior. The user becomes obsessed with the substance or behavior despite adverse consequences. They often deny the existence of a problem if confronted.
There are problems besides drugs and alcohol that have the potential to do as much damage as substance abuse. In fact, substance abuse is often symptomatic of much deeper life-controlling problems, such as lifestyle addictions. Lifestyle addictions cover a wide array of issues that affect many people such as poor self-image, violence and anger issues, eating disorders, and sexual addiction. People struggling with these issues can also benefit from an addiction recovery program.
Our Christ-centered approach offers the time and space for those who are struggling to experience God’s love and grace.
Am I Being Manipulated?
During any of these confrontation with a substance abuser who is quite practiced at Sympathy Manipulations, you may find yourself backing off, telling him or her that you love them, that they are worthy, and that you didn’t mean to be critical.
Boundaries
Boundaries are not just for avoiding bad behavior, they are also a tool to focus on positive behavior.
Delusion
Delusion can strike in any area of our life. But God’s truth relates to every problem we face. God’s truth speaks to every false belief. The path to real life is not down fantasy lane. Real life is when we face God’s truth, and begin to apply it in our daily living.
Drug Abuse Intervention
Is your loved one in denial about the severity of their drug or alcohol abuse? Have you tried to talk to them about their problem, but they’re unwilling to accept help?
Enabling
Enabling behavior, simply put, shields people from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behavior. Enabling is different from helping and supporting in that it allows the enabled person to be irresponsible.
Forgiveness
True forgiveness frees you to move on with God. Don’t stay stuck in your damage and brokenness. If you forgive others, God will do the same to you and enable you to move ahead with him
Living With Guilt
Don’t let the power of other people’s condemnation rob you of God’s peace. Fix your eyes on Jesus—He is not a condemning God.
Losing Control
To understand your assumptions about control, it helps to understand what you’ve been telling yourself about it. Your need to control grows out of your experiences, and how they affect your thinking and decision making.
Raise The Bottom
You can’t force your loved one to get help, but you can “raise the bottom” so they come face to face with reality sooner. It’s a painful process, but “raising the bottom” will bring the benefits of healing so much faster.
Restoring Trust
Trust makes us vulnerable to the other person. For you to restore trust when you have been hurt so many times before may be very hard. And there are no guarantees of the future. You may get hurt again.
They Won't Love Me
The truth is, you can’t buy love. You can’t earn love. True love is given—freely and unconditionally. But wait—not unconditionally—mature love is given obediently!
When People Hurt You
The normal response to someone who curses you is to curse them back. When we do that we fall into the same sinful gutter the other person is already in. We stoop to their level.
When They Don't Want To Help
You know how painful it is to watch your loved one heading down a destructive path. And it’s easy to get frustrated when you don’t see any change. But thousands of others have been where you are at—and have seen God’s miracle take place in their loved one.
Good Parents, Prodigal Kids
If your child is addicted or in trouble with the law or making miserable relationship choices, it’s easy to focus too much on the troubling situation, letting the potential consequences become the driving concern of your prayers. This is like attacking the symptoms rather than the disease, which is separation from Jesus.
Suggested Reading - BOOKS
THE CROSS AND THE SWITCHBLADE: is the story of David Wilkerson’s first five years in New York City. It tells the unforgettable story of God’s tender mercy and love to New York City teenagers through David Wilkerson’s ministry and shows the beginnings of the ministry that would eventually be called Teen Challenge.
RUN BABY RUN: is the story of Nicky Cruz, one of David Wilkerson’s earliest converts. After years as a warlord in a vicious New York City gang, Nicky tells the dramatic testimony of his desperate battle against drugs, alcoholism and his violent environment.
Suggested - WEBSITES
TEEN CHALLENGE USA: The Teen Challenge national office has many helpful resources as well as contact information and answers to many of the questions you may have about Teen Challenge.
iTEENCHALLENGE.ORG: Providing helpful information, tools, and resources to families with loved ones with alcohol, drug and other problems.
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY: provides relevant Christian advice on marriage, parenting and other topics. Find practical resources for every age and lifestage.
UNHAPPINESS: THE KEY TO RAISING HAPPY KIDS: It’s both human, and typical of how we parent today: At the first indication of unhappiness from our kids, we rush in to fix it, serving, as Dr. Robin Berman explains, like human pacifiers. And while the intention is valid—why let a child suffer, when it’s so easy to take the pain away—the ramifications of protecting our kids from dealing with the ups-and-downs of life have far-reaching consequences per Dr. Berman, including a lack of agency, an inability to regulate emotions, and a future inclination for co-dependent relationships and to look to outside factors for soothing.